playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
