His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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