No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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