Just cropdusted the office
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
