This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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