You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
