Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
In America we eat man semen.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
