My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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