well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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