I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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