Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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