i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
