It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize