what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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