she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
