homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
