One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
