I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
