I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
