but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
