It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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