I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
