"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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