To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
