How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
A+ Viking dick
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