your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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