we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
