if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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