Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
