I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
