I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
