I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
