just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize