who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
