shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Drake has all the answers
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
