i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
