You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
