omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
