Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
