new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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