i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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