Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
