Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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