I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
