shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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