so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
