Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
