I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
