real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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