We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
it was like eating out sand paper
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
