i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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