Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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