ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
