I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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