I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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