ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
