If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
FUCK WHALES
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
